The history of Expensive Pencil

Back in the halcyon days of rock. Four individuals came together to redefine the boundaries of music, fashion and youth culture. In 1976 Expensive Pencil exploded onto the scene and as a cohesive group, shaped a generation. The fans of this legendary outfit are astounded as much by the history of the band as indeed they are by Expensive Pencil's unique musical talent, expressive lyrics and attraction to both sexes. If it had not been for a freak incident In a Bradford outlet of Kentucky Fried Chicken, Expensive Pencil would not be with us today. To use one of their great lyrics, "Let me tell you the story or I'll break your nose....".

Back in 1976 in that famous KFC, four complete strangers exchanged blows and created West Yorkshire's third most popular visitor attraction and at the same time Expensive Pencil were born. According to musical mythology and eye witnesses, Rocky Flame, the volatile cockney lead singer and present day rock god was so aggrieved that his Zinger Tower Burger had not come with the complimentary KFC Colonel pencil sharpener that fists were thrown. Before long, the now world renowned fab-four of Dougie, Joe, Damian and Rocky were embroiled in a fully fledged fist fight. As prime slices of the Colonel's chicken, mayo and Iceberg lettuce spilled to the floor and customers fled for their lives, history was in the making.

After a frantic twelve minutes Bradford Metropolitan Police Force were called and following a brief scuffle the four were handcuffed and thrown into the back of that now famous van, which can be found round the back of the Kabul Rock Cafe. At that point the world of music, politics and hair styling was to change forever. For it was in the back of that pungent smelling van that Expensive Pencil were formed.

As Glasgow's most famous son, Dougie started to rhythmically bang the side of the Transit van. "Let me out Mr police man, let me out". Rocky started to hum a druid tune. Joe, still coming round from Rocky's vicious uppercut, began twanging on the bass of his dreads, while Damian who had bitten his tongue in the scuffle scratched his dry roasted..... Little did the lucky few who witnessed this now legendary and almost religious event, know that the embryonic form of the all conquering opening song from the "Sniff the Mitten" album was being shaped.

Indeed, as I did the research for my best selling book, "The pencil is not broken, just badly chewed", I spent many a happy ten minutes at Damian's country mansion on the outskirts of Cleckheaton. As Damian reclined on his Chaise-long next to his chameleon enclosure, sipping Champagne from crystal flutes, I would sit on the floor with a cup of Bovril and listen with schoolboy excitement as he recalled stories of the early days. This roller coaster ride would whip the listener into an eclectic frenzy and would encompass classic tales, such as, the band's first play on Atlantic 252, their sellout tour of Whitby and when they created the lyrics for their first number one hit in Liechtenstein.

Now, with seven Platinum albums behind them, riches beyond the dreams of Averis and worldwide fame, the name Expensive Pencil is uttered under the same breath as the very Kings of Rock and Roll, including Jammy Hendix, The Rollickin Stoneds and The Back Alley Boys.